This shrine isn't really meant to be informative, it's more of an ode to my younger self and just a way to make my feelings more tangible. It's also a bit of Enstars + Hibiki Wataru actually but I just combined it.
Enstars in General
I got into Enstars in June 2022 when EN server released and as of writing this it is 2026. 3-4 years doesn't sound like a lot but these years specifically were quite foundational for me. I played Enstars every day for three years straight hardly without fail before getting burnt out last year, both from school and Enstars. I tried to get back into it, but with the many new characters (4piece and Mellow Dear Us) along with various controversies (Ibuki joining Akatsuki), I found it hard to keep up.
Enstars means a lot to me because it took up such a big part of my early teenhood. I got closer to two people in real life because of Enstars. They're even the reason I even have a Wataru collection. I'm not close to them anymore, and neither am I really interested in Enstars anymore. I still get a bit excited when I see things related to Enstars, but it usually doesn't last long-term. I'm quite a sentimental person. Falling out of love with my interests isn't new but there was a point I thought I would love Enstars forever.
If I'm being honest, I never really learnt too much about Enstars' story. I rarely read the stories, and I found it hard to keep up with not only the pace they were being released, but also looking back on the stories from the previous game. I think a lot of information I know is from the wiki. I know this is common with Enstars fans, but it did make me feel a bit fake. Also, how can I bring up the random weird shit that goes on in the story if I never read it?? I used to be on EnstarsTWT quite a bit (as in, I would read what other people say). I think that is what kind of got me started hating on Enstars. Everyone there seems to really hate Enstars for some reason. I know it's affectionate but like damn... it gets to a point...
I stopped playing Enstars for quite a while and it made me feel quite stressed knowing how much I missed because I damn FOMO and never missed a single event for 3 years straight. That stress made me procrastinate more and more, until I did briefly try to get back into it last year. I had a lot of time after I graduated so I spent my time making an Enstars fansite. I planned to read every Enstars story from the beginning and I would blog my thoughts. I quickly got burnt out on that and ended up scrapping it. The story that made me quite was, surprise surprise, a story important to Wataru's character. I felt too perfectionist about paying attention well to it that I just gave up. I don't think I will get back to it any time soon.
Hibiki Wataru
Before I got into Enstars, I remember everyone on TikTok saying "ohh every character is problematic" and seeing a tier list which I cared about for some reason. I didn't want to like someone "problematic" so I kind of judged all the characters based on their looks. I pulled Wataru as my first card and I thought oh nahhh man this guy totally looks problematic bruh. So he wasn't the first character I produced, but I can't remember why I liked him again after a while.
My understanding of Wataru's character is that he is eccentric and hard to understand but some of that is him purposely putting a front, a mask, if you will. He performs for people to make them laugh and surpresses his vulnerable self. I don't think I knew this when I started liking him, but it does make me appreciate him a little more.
Ok now that I'm writing this I actually don't know why I like him. Other than him being lowkey hot but I digress. I suppose I do like how he is comfortable being feminine, but that's not the main reason I like him, of course.
Wataru lowkey conditioned me into liking the colour blue. I used to not particularly like blue but I heard about the concept of buying things that match your oshi's colours so I subconsciously gravitated towards the colour blue while denying that I liked it. Now I just like blue. All blues, not just light blue. And a bit of cream colour, I wonder which character in Wataru's inner circle that matches...
Other
I played NU:Carnival Bliss for a few weeks at one point and my favourite character was Edmond. Edmond has long, light blue hair and I had a card where it was up in a big ponytail. Coincedence? You tell me.
